Confessions
by vertigo.jm
Summary: Draco asks to be forgiven but Harry isn't so sure about giving it to him. Two meetings, a new school year and things just might change. Oneshot. Slash.


**Disclaimer: JKR (a muse to us all) owns all the characters and so on and so forth, I obviously am not gaining anything and don't intend to!**

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Confessions

_I confess my love for you. Confess that I neglected it. Confess I pushed you aside, that if anything ended it is all my fault. Furthermore I confess you are my everything, my only need. I know you won't want me back, I know you probably already have someone else. But I ask you nonetheless, I ask you to think about us. About what it was, what it is now, and what could've been._

_I couldn't stand being here alone in our house and thinking you were in some other place, with someone else. I couldn't bear to think you had anyone else in your arms, arms that are mine. Only mine to hold, to touch, to caress. I am sorry for what I've done. At night after I wake up from my nightmares I start to understand what you must've felt, most certainly still feel and I start to feelbad._

_Do not regret your choices. They were yours to make. I regret mine though, haven't I done what I did, you'd be lying here by my side and I wouldn't have had the need to write this. I write this in a hopeless kind of hope that you'll read this, and come running to my encounter, running into my arms. Smiling that dazzling smile of yours._

_I confess I left you all those times for the thrill of it. I confess I left you because I knew you'd come back to me. You surprised me, when you finally didn't. But it's shown me how strong you are. It's shown that you can think for yourself, think of your well being , think with your head not your heart. I wish I could do that now, but my heart is telling me to write this and I am complying. My head on the other hand is telling me to leave this be, telling me to stop before I humiliate myself._

_But if I have to humiliate myself to have you back, then I will. I believe I was humiliating my self when I left in the first place. If I must do the most crazy things in name of love, then I will. For you deserve it. After all we've been through. After all you've been through for me._

_I am truly sorry. With all my love._

_Yours eternally,_

_Draco Malfoy._

His breath hitched. Draco had wrote him a letter. Had proclaimed – No, no, no, it was all a attempt to get him back. Because he knew the blond would hurt him again. It was meant to be that way. After all he had gone through in his life he would never love someone in peace, it didn't fit well with his own life story.

Harry sighed and put the piece of parchment aside. Draco was born to make his world miserable. No, even if they weren't together Harry couldn't possibly say something like that. Draco had been his world. Had he been in darkness Draco had given him light. Had he been faithless Draco had given him hope. He had been first and foremost his companion, his partner in crime.

But there was just this need to prove he was superior, to prove he could, and would, leave anytime he wanted. And that had hurt Harry more than anything, hurt beyond repair. Harry had always gone back to him, because he understood what Draco was trying to do to him, at least he thought he did. But this last time it had been enough, hurting him like he did.

Draco had stretched too far any patience that had been left in Harry. Finding him in their bed, with that – that, he couldn't even say it now. It just didn't leave his throat. Harry closed his eyes and shakily brushed away a few tears. He'd confront Draco, because the other boy had just sent this letter to tease him and Harry would not stoop so low as him. He'd go back to their – no, his, house and they'd talk.

But first he'd go back to bed and sulk. Because sulking was something he understood, something quite simple to do, and something that didn't make him get out of his house. Neither did it make him see Draco. Even if Draco had always had a way into taking him out of his depression.

There he went again – thinking about that stupid blond – stop! Harry looked around for something to entertain himself with. There really wasn't anything. Well if only he had a TV, perhaps a radio, he'd have something to do. He looked out of the window seeing it was quite a sunny day. Perhaps shopping would do at the time.

He bathed and put on his best clothes. It was way to warm for any robes, he'd just go down to Diagon Alley dressed as he was, he'd strangle anyone who had any say in his outfit. Of course there were always cooling charms although he hated refraining to magic for everything. A muggle raised part of him screamed to be remembered from time to time.

Diagon Alley was quite full, seeing as it was Saturday. It was quite possibly full because school would start in a week, the letters must have been delivered already. Harry thanked heavens that as Headmaster he needn't worry about the muggleborns. Actually he had to worry a lot about them, but the teachers were always the ones who took the youngsters shopping and such.

Harry wondered why Draco wasn't doing such a thing. Or maybe he was. Harry stopped in his tracks looking at the blond leaving the Apothecary. As potions master, Harry knew, Draco would first take his young pupil there. Thankfully he was a much nicer potions master than Snape. Thankfully.

"Headmaster, nice to see you here," Draco said walking up to him. That single phrase made half of the street start watching them. Harry was pretty inconspicuous until some fool called him out loud. His cover, not that it was much of a cover, had been blown. He knew Draco had done it on purpose.

"Draco," Harry said with a nod. "I'm just wondering aimlessly." He leaned closer to the young girl. "Ms. Willow are you enjoying this little visit?"

She nodded excitedly.

"How rude of me, I didn't even introduce myself," Harry said kneeling in front of her. "I'm Harry Potter, Headmaster at Hogwarts, you must be Rose Willow."

"Nice to meet you," she said blushing.

"Nice to meet _you _Ms. Willow, I must be on my way now, lots of shopping before the new school year," Harry informed more Draco than their little pupil. "I look forward to meeting you later Professor," he informed Draco as well.

Draco beamed, but quickly stopped once he saw Harry's grave face. He nodded once before leaving with Rose on his heels. Harry followed them with his eyes until they were swallowed by the massive crowd. Harry turned the other way around entering Madam Malkin's to order a new set of robes.

Later that night found Harry Potter, Headmaster of Hogwarts, or rather Harry Potter depressingly in love, in front of Malfoy Manor. He stopped before the Gates, wondering if he was doing the right thing by stepping foot into that house again. Well, now it was too late to turn around.

He opened the gates stepping into the grounds of Malfoy Manor, he knew Draco would probably already know of his presence, the alarms around the house had certainly told him so already. And true enough an opened door was waiting for him. Draco Malfoy was holding it open for him.

"I'm glad you thought of this meeting Harry," Draco said as Harry stepped inside the house.

"I wish I shared your views," Harry said following Draco through the house. "Is Zabini around?" Harry asked innocently.

"Harry," Draco said tiredly.

"What?" Harry snapped. When Draco didn't answer Harry found in his right to continue. "Did you dump him too, already? Found another clueless boyfriend to suck dry? You do move fast Draco, I must say, although Zabini probably wasn't good at sex or he would've lasted longer."

"Harry you're not making this any easier –"

"Good," Harry sulked.

"You're acting like a bloody child!" Draco said angrily.

"And how did you expect me to act Malfoy, I found you in _our _bed with Blaise Zabini, you must realized I was startled to say at least."

"Startled?"

"Bloody pissed would be a better way to put it, wanting to kill anyone who dared say your name too, crying my eyes out really, is my description good enough for you Slytherin?" Harry hissed.

Draco looked stunned. He said nothing. Harry smirked, he had touched a sore spot.

"Why did you send me that damn letter Malfoy?"

"Stop calling me that!" Draco said angrily. Being called Malfoy reminded him of their school days, not a happy memory at all.

"Answer me," Harry growled.

"Because I love you, because it happened a month ago and I knew this time it was different. I knew that you wouldn't come back and it scared me shitless. I need you Harry Potter I have loved you since I was eighteen and I have never loved anyone else since then. I sent it because even though I knew you'd never forgive me I wouldn't make that stop me either.

"I sent that letter Harry because the only person I could fall asleep with in bed was you, because I lay awake looking at the ceiling when Blaise slept beside me. Because looking at you at the street knowing sooner or later you'd find someone else was exasperating and I knew I could do nothing but watch you fall in love again, right before my eyes. I sent it because I want you to be mine forever."

Harry said nothing. He wanted to believe him, needed to, but if he did Malfoy would go and do it all again. Draco would find some other boy to satisfy his needs aside from Harry and it would start all over again, and his ego wouldn't take it again. Not any more.

"Say something," Draco spoke in a low voice.

"What do you want me to say Draco?"

Between Harry's angry speech and Malfoy's heart-wrenching one they had stepped closer. Inches separated them and Harry could hear a few portraits whispering behind his back. He stared unblinking at Draco wondering what flourished thing the blonde would say next. Draco stared back at him not speaking at all, but their staring match didn't makeeither of them nervous. They had done that countless times before.

Startling Harry, and himself, he grabbed the raven-haired by the shoulders pushing him against the wall and trapping him with his hands. Harry still stared him down, daring the other boy to do something, unfortunately what Draco Malfoy wasn't, was a coward, and being stared down made him want to prove Harry of that.

He grabbed Harry's wrists holding them on each side of Harry's head. The Boy-Who-Lived said and did nothing. Draco began to wonder if he really didn't want to get back together. He brought his mouth to Harry's biting the boy's lower lip asking to be let inside. Draco was trying very hard not to shiver. Harry didn't hesitate when he ran his tongue across Draco's lip and opened his mouth letting their tongue's meet. They tongues fought viciously and Draco knew his lost partner was taking off some of his anger at the moment.

Draco let him, hoping that it would make Harry want him again. Harry freed his wrists grabbing Draco roughly by the hip, digging his nails in them, and crushing Draco against his muscular body. The Slytherin King didn't fight a smirk angry sex was always encouraged yes, and the way things were going he thought he knew where it was heading. Hoped it would lead that way actually.

Their hard erections were crushed against each other and through Harry's robes he could feel it pulsating. He thanked Merlin, or whomever, that wizards wore robes with nothing underneath them. He spread Harry's legs by putting his thigh between them, he heard Harry moan against the neck he had currently been biting. Draco trailed kisses down Harry's neck, licking the spot behind his ear making Harry arch back.

Harry grabbed hold of his shoulders his lips back to his mouth re-learning every inch of Draco Malfoy. Draco felt himself being pushed by all sides and they Apparated, Harry hadn't given any indication that he was going to do that. They Apparated right into Draco's bedroom.

Draco was thrown into the bed and he started worrying that Harry wasn't in his right mind at all. But just then he found his robes disappearing and Harry's too. So it was best to shut up and if Harry was indeed in his right mind, well all the better for him. Harry moved on top of him and Draco remembered how it was like between them. How Harry always seemed to take control of the situation somehow, natural leader complex, he supposed.

Harry trailed kisses down Draco's chest, loving the feeling of the blonde's body under his own once more. It had been too long, way too long. He looked down at the bobbing penis that belonged to the Slytherin and smiling back at Draco before taking it into his mouth. Draco was arching back crying in pleasure and before he could come Harry stopped. Draco growled in displeasure, his eyes narrowing.

Harry laughed, briefly wondering if Draco would hex him if he didn't continue with his ministrations. He crawled between Draco's open legs and Draco immediately threw one of his legs on Harry's shoulder, finding a comfortable and familiar position. Knowing the boy wasn't going to be uncomfortable Harry slowly lowered himself inside Draco feeling him clench, then relax and simultaneously moan.

They were moving in a well-known rhythm lost in their act, Draco's erection was trapped between their slick bodies. Harry wanted to sate the boy, but he let it there, wanting to get Draco wound up, knowing exactly what he wanted to do. Draco was arching up to meet him, his mouth open although nothing was said. And Harry was kissing him, their bodies were moving more frantically. Soon Harry's whole body was quivering and he came letting his tired body fall against Draco's.

He felt Draco's erection still trapped between them, knew the blonde expected him to do something about it, but he didn't move. He took a few deep breaths and got up from were he was laying, Draco's eyes opened and narrowed but Harry said nothing. He got into the bathroom turning on the shower.

He felt himself relax under the hot water droplets but as soon as he heard the door opening he tensed, knowing a confrontation was about to come. Sure enough Draco was leaning against the marble silk, his arms crossed against his naked torso. Draco looked beautiful. And furious.

Harry looked at the blonde thoroughly. His hair was falling to his face, droplets of sweat covered Draco's body and he saw that the blonde had not finished the job on his own. Harry swallowed hard noticing that something was still bobbing in anticipation.

"What the fuck was that Harry?" Draco growled angrily, his voice still husky.

"I believe it's what we call sex, although it has many other names as well. I don't suppose we can call it lovemaking though, you are certainly not in l–" Harry stopped before he said something he'd deeply regret, he had to play it cool.

"I mean why did you leave," Draco said in a whiny voice.

"Well, we were finished, weren't we?" Harry said cynically. "Why did you want to have another go? Because I am tired as hell, after a nap perhaps."

"Harry what is it that you're trying to accomplish with this stunt of yours?"

"Stunt? Accomplish what?" Harry tried to look innocent. "What are you on about Draco?"

Draco was looking at him thoughtfully. His eyes lit up suddenly. Draco left the sink he was leaning on and joined Harry in the shower.

"Ah. Is the mighty Harry Potter trying to teach me a lesson? Tut tut, leaving me wound up won't do any good at all Harry," he said in his silky voice. "_Using _me won't do any good. At. All."

"What is it like Draco, to feel used, to feel like I have been feeling for months now?" Harry said with his back turned to the other boy. "Do you feel like shit? Like you want to laugh humorlessly and cry of grief at the same time? Do you feel like you've been raped, like someone simply ripped your soul away and that you'll never get it back and that you can't possibly feel any worse than this?"

Malfoy didn't reply.

"I didn't think you would. Since when do Slytherins have feelings after all," Harry said and Draco noticed his voice was quivering.

And then he found himself turning Harry towards him, found him holding Harry tight as sobs wrecked the other man's body. He felt like Harry could cry forever and he knew he'd be there for him. He felt the salty tears when he kissed each of them away.

And Harry was kissing him back, pressing him hard against the wall. And he was trailing hot kissed all over his body and turning him around as he thrust inside him once again. And Draco had to say the only thing that was better than angry sex was passionate shower sex. He wanted to laugh at the ridiculous notion that he gave different kinds of sex different names.

But Harry was thrusting harder and faster and he forgot to laugh at all, although he moaned arching against Harry, resting his head on his shoulder. He knew Harry was still crying, apologizing for everything he had just done and Draco followed him, crying as well, and apologizing for hurting him above all things.

Harry quite suddenly took Draco's erection on his palm stroking swiftly, one, two, three times. And Draco knew he was close, he knew that Harry was quite close too. They reached climax at the same time, but Harry didn't leave. He remained inside him and Draco decided he liked the feeling, it seemed like the raven haired belonged there. But soon Harry pushed Draco forward, supporting himself against the other wall.

"I meant what I say Harry, I am sorry, I want us to be together," Draco said cupping Harry's chin and kissing the curve of his mouth.

Harry had his eyes closed while he tried to regain his bearings he didn't want to speak at the moment so he attempted a small nod. He breathed deeply, trying to understand what the hell had just happened and wanted to hex himself for having done what he did. Draco was speaking again but Harry wasn't listened, momentarily deaf by the blood rushing to his ears. Then Draco was on his knees, Harry was momentarily stunned and he made himself hear what the blond was trying to say.

"Will you marry me Harry?" Draco was saying. Harry hoped he was not partially deaf..

"S-sorry? Draco have you got any idea of what your asking me?"

"Of course I have or I wouldn't be asking it would I," said Draco, standing up again. "On the chance of being let down again. Harry James Potter will you marry me?

"Yes," Harry choked out pulling Draco against him. "Of course I will you stupid prat"

'Thank god, you would've broken my heart if you'd said no," Malfoy said breathing in relief. "I promise I'll stop being this fucking mess that I know I am, you'll be my only one. Forever."

And Harry was leaning in kissing him delicately, almost afraid that their dream would dissipate. And it was sweet and shy and nothing could be more perfect or beautiful, Draco sighed closing his eyes wondering if he could be any happier.

Rose Willow was happy. Happy as anyone could be. She had been raised by her er – muggle, yes that was what people called them around here, parents. For her they were simply normal. She had always been weird a freak and most of the things she had done before learning she was a witch had scared her senseless. Her parents had never learned how to handle her properly.

But now, now she was a student at Hogwarts. She'd learn to become a proper witch, she'd be the best witch ever. She had just been made a Gryffindor, the Prefects had all shook her hand and Harry the headmaster was smiling benignly down at her. She rather liked him a lot, since summer she knew she could trust him with anything.

She gazed upon the table looking at the blond professor sitting at the Headmaster's right side, she noticed they shared a white-gold band and Rose wondered if they were married. Malfoy, if she remembered his name correctly, was trying to steal loving glances at Professor Potter. The headmaster tried not to giggle when he noticed those and glanced smiling back.

Rose stifled back laughter they looked like two teenagers in love, much like her older sister and her boyfriend do more often than not. It was funny she hadn't seen that over the summer hols. They had been rather cold at each other back then.

She sighed contently looking around. This world couldn't be any more different and better than the one she had lived before. Her Headmaster and Potions teacher were gay, but everyone seemed perfect normal with that, she wasn't called a freak anymore, actually she didn't think she was much of a freak. She felt normal, she felt like she fit in, for once.

At Hogwarts, a Hat talked, Ghosts walked around and his Transfiguration teacher was able to turn into a cat, one of her professor was a gnome or a dwarf she didn't know exactly, but that was just normal.

"Good evening and Welcome to Hogwarts!" their Headmaster spoke with open arms everyone fell silent.

**The End**


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